Sunday, December 31, 2006
Today is a very very special day for me. My first ever new year celebrations... Yet i feel so objected and guilty. I had to defy my parents in order to enjoy myself myself for the first time ever in new year's eve. I talked to my parents. I argued and asked, Is that fair? taking my freedom away from me? I am 15.. No longer the little kid you have known. I grown up! I should be the one to decide on what to do, with the time that is given to me. Say default i live for 70 years. It totals to 25500 days in total of my life. If i sleep 8 hours a day, i have 2/3 of that amount, i only have about 17000 days left awake. I have wasted my past 5110 days in life being a worthless, vulgar, useless freak/monster. I have only 12000 days in fact. I would like to live a exciting life of challenges, with the guidance of god, i know i will never be lost. Instead, i will be ever ready to face future challenges. I will never be alone. He will always be by my side. And i feel that nobody should object. This is a good change in me. Why stop now? I know there is no place in this earth where god's love will not be able to reach me. This is my choice. Nobody shall stop me. This must be a work of Satan. I shall never allow this to happen to me.
10:43 AM; The Pianist'