thePIANIST

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Contented? Not contented?
... Sometimes i ask myself. Is this personality what God wants of me or am I supposed to be something else. Im not perfect. Kinda discouraging everytime YK tells me something bad about me. Well.. Guess im not used to accepting my flaws in a desirable way. Somethings I think im not good enough. Sometimes I just hate myself for being me. Why why do I have to promise and yet not do it. God im sorry i failed you. Lord i failed you once again. My selfishness, my confusion. Why cant I be quick and decisive? God change me... Feeling really down these few days.. Problems of other people start pouring in.. Desires start to pour in too. I got less time for my games and i had to spend that time on others. God i really hope that I will be blessed with 5 new converts from Gess by end july. God i will do my best and I shant let you down. Thank you lord.
low self esteem?
A lil imbalanced in my case i guess.. I feel sometimes that im unique since many girls are going after me ^^ hehehe. Ok la joking haha. But ya.. I feel very... Insecure.. I dont understand myself at all perhaps. I hate my size my face and i hate the way I speak. Dont have the gift of approach i guess... Cant really relate to new believers well as Yk suggests. Guess im really scaring them away? I dont know really. I dont even know if im fit to be a shepherd of anyone. No i dont actually. Why? Why god... 3 new believers from queenstown.. What if i get one of them? Will i screw them up like i almost screwed Dennis? Lord i fear... Whatever it is, thank you Lord, for the wonderful friends you have blessed me with. Thank you for blessing me with such a shepherd, who reminds me of my flaws. God without knowing my flaws, how would I be able to change then? God another thing is that i really want to continue that habit of avoiding Vulgarities. God I think you for blessing me with a powerful testimony so I could share this miracle to people i meet. God Thank you for the gifts you have blessed me with, I will continue to use them wisely and upgrade them =D.

22/6/07
Swimming with YK
Haha went swimming with YK as stated... Though simple, but I've learnt a new principle and that is peserverence. Well, to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond, into the impossible.Lol went to play Pool after that... Lolx I suck la lool but won at 9 ball later... Kekeke.. Went to eat Long John after that -.- Haha standard la... Central B legacy.. =D... God i thank you for the time we had together that day =D

23/6/06
Service lol DUH
Haha as i told u guys, theres 3 new converts from Queenstown so yeah haha... haha gotta watch myself oO... Fun day playing dota... Me and Jiao trashed with 0 deaths and many many kills... Nth to say la Neuberian Assassin and Anti mage vs Slardar and Crystal maiden... Cm is surely food lol... Kk enough le haha... Thanks Yk for reminding me my flaws. UPDATING SOME OTHER TIME =D CHEERS ^^

11:22 PM; The Pianist'

thePIANIST;

Shane from RP class w35a

Loves the piano

Hates rappers

ur hates here

the WISH:

Someone

theCHATTERBOX;

theEXITS;

Angela
Apologetics
Brian
Caryn
Chermaine
Daphne
Desmond Mark
Hongji
Hsueh Ni
Ikekie
Kai Hwee
Michelle (Hope)
Sharmaine
Shepherd
Stephanie
Tiffany
Vivian
Yeshen

thePAST;