thePIANIST
Wednesday, February 20, 2008

ZZZ just got a lame letter from "the principal" saying that i have not been submitting my Medical certificates or parental letters when i am absent from school. What kind of shit is that? I'm sure i submitted them. Even the ones so recent were mentioned -.-. Plus some retarded reflection sheet she claimed that i didnt write... I remember the first time i was late, i had to write ten pages the same story why i was late and how im gonna not be late again. What kind of shit is that? Crappy form teacher -.-. I knew there was something wrong abt her alr from the beginning of the day she taught my class. Give me that retarded stare as though she knew im a trouble maker -.-. Luckily im not in her chemistry class -.- Whole day act cute. Cant stand it.
Ms Tho called my parents the other day, told them i needed 80% of attendance to take O levels. What kind of bullshit is that? O levels is got money can take le. What 80% -.-. Then she even told her i wasnt doing my work. I was friggin absent how am i supposed to hand up the stupid shit when im absent? Got friggin scolded in the end and now this. Makes me so pissed about this shit.
This year is indeed friggin stressful for me and i cant balance my spiritual life, my work and my studies. Everything seems to be very demanding but i cant neglect any. Crappy isnt it.. Im so damn tempted to just fall away and disappear completely from church, but i guess that aint what i really want for myself, or rather what God has for me. Well i can honnestly say that im very emotionally unstable right now as the word stress keeps ringing in my brains. I cant stop thinking about what next, and keep thinking about when is the only time i can relax and do my own stuff. When YK messaged me earlier, i was reluctant to go with the group to evangelise tomorrow. I almost swore at the letter the "principal" sent to my parents. Right now, i just wana study and do well for my exams, but it is just so hard with so many things going on in my mind. I wana do CG08, and i wana do very well in my O levels. My A-maths is like a piece of shit now, as well as a few other subjects. The teachers are behind time and im struggling for a breather. There's no rest, no room for failure. Everything has to be perfect.
It's just so hard to keep a good balance. Too hard i'd say. The tens of thousands of possible temptations to fall away from God are going through my mind every day of my life. Each day I worry that if i do my daily Quiet time, I will neglect my studies and do badly. Life is just so stressful!

Dear Father in Heaven,
As the bible claims that if I shall seek and ask, I will be given, today I ask in Jesus name that I would be strengthened to do your work without neglecting my studies. I know it is difficult, but I trust that with you, anything is possible. I pray that I will be empowered in my spiritual walk to bring you glory, and I trust that with your help, I can also do well in my studies. Father I thank you for being my pillar of support, and all this i ask in the prescious name of Jesus, Amen.



5:52 PM; The Pianist'

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Shane from RP class w35a

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