Friday, May 23, 2008
Back to blog again about my boring and undesirable lifestyle =).
Right my dad just shouted the F word in front of my face because his computer is slow. He blames it on a 800mb game file which works perfectly fine on my own computer. Perhaps the lag is due to the excessive download of pornographic videos and pictures he ususally do. Oh well.. Sucks to be an old user of that computer since i get all the blame when his computer gets screwed up. Wait.. Why do i bother to blog about this? This is just one of the thousands of times my father conversed with me with a vulgarity. Why do i care that much? Well.. I dont know.. I just feel against vulgarities nowadays.. Right enough with that nonsense alr..
Had floorball today.. Reached early to play basketball though. Right it's damn tiring.. Scored less than 5 today.. Haha really sucky today!! I felt so lazy...
Oh and Jia Qi landed a swing on my hand which led to a injury. Now who says im not the injury king! Wahaha.. 8 on my left leg, 5 on my right, 4 on my right hand, none on my left hand. I feel kinda guilty that i kinda scolded Jeron for not playing properly today. The most un-tactful leader ever.. Bleah.. Well i shouted at him for letting in a goal, which a deeply regretted. He shouted back to ask me to become the keeper then and he just walked off. Let's just say, i screwed up..
I feel stupid being the leader. Cuz it just aint me. I come from a screwed up family background, I aint charismatic, yet im called by God? It just stresses me when I think of how I can be the playmaker of my group. Its hard to get everyone to quieten and listen to you and lead them to the right way when I dont have the charisma or spiritual stature. Im trying hard but yeah you guys know how hard it is without a spiritual buddy or a stable group growing in God. At least what i can do is keep track on how many times each core team member does their QT and all. And also teach them how to experience God and stuff. I guess thats what God has told me to do and what i have done. I still feel uncapable because i just feel so burdened for them. I feel like im in deep shit whenever i get into a conflict with them or when my core is in conflict with one another. I just find it very disturbing the fact that i gotta care for each and everyone of their lives beyond caregroup, service. Im utterly burdened also due to the fact that this year is O levels for me. Im afraid that if i get into a real shitty situation, how will my group look to me as a leader? Ok this is getting long.. What i wana say is, I'll be trying my best to do whatever i can for God and for myself. Okay let me end off with a prayer..
Father in heaven,
I call to you in the name of Jesus and demand from you wisdom you have promised if i keep your word. Lord I will love you with all my heart, do not let me stray from your commands. May i develop a heavy burden and sense of urgency for the things you have left me in charge with. Lord i pray also that you will strengthen me and mould me to become the kind of person you want me to be. Lord i pray all this in the name of Jesus, Amen
Right my dad just shouted the F word in front of my face because his computer is slow. He blames it on a 800mb game file which works perfectly fine on my own computer. Perhaps the lag is due to the excessive download of pornographic videos and pictures he ususally do. Oh well.. Sucks to be an old user of that computer since i get all the blame when his computer gets screwed up. Wait.. Why do i bother to blog about this? This is just one of the thousands of times my father conversed with me with a vulgarity. Why do i care that much? Well.. I dont know.. I just feel against vulgarities nowadays.. Right enough with that nonsense alr..
Had floorball today.. Reached early to play basketball though. Right it's damn tiring.. Scored less than 5 today.. Haha really sucky today!! I felt so lazy...
Oh and Jia Qi landed a swing on my hand which led to a injury. Now who says im not the injury king! Wahaha.. 8 on my left leg, 5 on my right, 4 on my right hand, none on my left hand. I feel kinda guilty that i kinda scolded Jeron for not playing properly today. The most un-tactful leader ever.. Bleah.. Well i shouted at him for letting in a goal, which a deeply regretted. He shouted back to ask me to become the keeper then and he just walked off. Let's just say, i screwed up..
I feel stupid being the leader. Cuz it just aint me. I come from a screwed up family background, I aint charismatic, yet im called by God? It just stresses me when I think of how I can be the playmaker of my group. Its hard to get everyone to quieten and listen to you and lead them to the right way when I dont have the charisma or spiritual stature. Im trying hard but yeah you guys know how hard it is without a spiritual buddy or a stable group growing in God. At least what i can do is keep track on how many times each core team member does their QT and all. And also teach them how to experience God and stuff. I guess thats what God has told me to do and what i have done. I still feel uncapable because i just feel so burdened for them. I feel like im in deep shit whenever i get into a conflict with them or when my core is in conflict with one another. I just find it very disturbing the fact that i gotta care for each and everyone of their lives beyond caregroup, service. Im utterly burdened also due to the fact that this year is O levels for me. Im afraid that if i get into a real shitty situation, how will my group look to me as a leader? Ok this is getting long.. What i wana say is, I'll be trying my best to do whatever i can for God and for myself. Okay let me end off with a prayer..
Father in heaven,
I call to you in the name of Jesus and demand from you wisdom you have promised if i keep your word. Lord I will love you with all my heart, do not let me stray from your commands. May i develop a heavy burden and sense of urgency for the things you have left me in charge with. Lord i pray also that you will strengthen me and mould me to become the kind of person you want me to be. Lord i pray all this in the name of Jesus, Amen
9:36 PM; The Pianist'
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Haha blogging again about life.
Getting more hectic than ever.. Being a CL is really tiring. Really draining. I've to come up with strategies, things i have to stand up for and lead when no-one else can. Instead of shaking my leg when i once was just a member, i had to get out of my comfort zone and do things i dont ususally do. All i can pray for is that my members would be able to have the kind of faith required to do what is necessary.
Gettin late.. Kinda lazy to blog anymore.. I guess ill be blogging tmr hopefully. Cya guys =)
Getting more hectic than ever.. Being a CL is really tiring. Really draining. I've to come up with strategies, things i have to stand up for and lead when no-one else can. Instead of shaking my leg when i once was just a member, i had to get out of my comfort zone and do things i dont ususally do. All i can pray for is that my members would be able to have the kind of faith required to do what is necessary.
Gettin late.. Kinda lazy to blog anymore.. I guess ill be blogging tmr hopefully. Cya guys =)
10:15 PM; The Pianist'
Saturday, May 17, 2008
~Tagged by Vivian~
1. What disappoints you the most?
Well... Not achieving something i really want?
2. What's your favorite thing to do?
Chill out with a few of my friends
3. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Nope.. I dont wana come up with a whole list of why.
4. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
Doing well in my O levels
5. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Hell no.. I spend lots of money everyday..
6. What is your favourite body part
Errm... Legs? RUNNN!!!
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Thats alot of money.. ERRM... Buy all the stuff i want? Again, it's a long list so... yeh..
8. What is the most embarassing thing that happened to you recently?]
I forgot to do my zipper >.<>
9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
I just know her as a really friendly, nice and Gentle kinda person.
10. What makes you happy?
Anything fun
11. What type of person do you hate the most?
Flirtatious
12. Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
Teaching Piano full time
13. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
The ability to control time.. Yknow.. I suck at time management
14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My friends
15. What do you do when you're alone?
Reflect on my day. Quiet time
16. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
My temper..
17. One word to describe yourself.
Lackadaisical
18. What was you most unforgettable experience in school?
When i passed my Amaths =X
19. What makes a perfect bf/gf to you?
Okay.. RIGHT... Someone Ordinary?
20. What's my favourite sport?
Floorball duh..
Instructions: Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged
Okay i dont have 8 people but..
1: Angela
2:Hong Ji
3: stephanie
4:Sharmaine
5:Chermaine
6:Caryn
7:???
8:???
1. What disappoints you the most?
Well... Not achieving something i really want?
2. What's your favorite thing to do?
Chill out with a few of my friends
3. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Nope.. I dont wana come up with a whole list of why.
4. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
Doing well in my O levels
5. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Hell no.. I spend lots of money everyday..
6. What is your favourite body part
Errm... Legs? RUNNN!!!
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Thats alot of money.. ERRM... Buy all the stuff i want? Again, it's a long list so... yeh..
8. What is the most embarassing thing that happened to you recently?]
I forgot to do my zipper >.<>
9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
I just know her as a really friendly, nice and Gentle kinda person.
10. What makes you happy?
Anything fun
11. What type of person do you hate the most?
Flirtatious
12. Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
Teaching Piano full time
13. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
The ability to control time.. Yknow.. I suck at time management
14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My friends
15. What do you do when you're alone?
Reflect on my day. Quiet time
16. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
My temper..
17. One word to describe yourself.
Lackadaisical
18. What was you most unforgettable experience in school?
When i passed my Amaths =X
19. What makes a perfect bf/gf to you?
Okay.. RIGHT... Someone Ordinary?
20. What's my favourite sport?
Floorball duh..
Instructions: Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged
Okay i dont have 8 people but..
1: Angela
2:Hong Ji
3: stephanie
4:Sharmaine
5:Chermaine
6:Caryn
7:???
8:???
12:16 AM; The Pianist'
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Well.. Many things happened over the period of these 2 days. Yesterday was service as usual.. But I walked out as a different person. I began to realize how much i have sinned.
The words pastor Jeff spoke, "Isn't it utter treason not to bring salvation to your family members?"
It Hit me right in the face and i broke out crying.
He also said, " My mum keeps every card i write for her"
This made me question myself, when was the last time i did something like that?
I walked out of nexus as someone who utterly hated his family, to someone who slowly develops compassion and forgiveness for whatever harm his family had done unto him.
I began to realize the importance of bringing salvation even to those who have hurt us deeply, and to show the love of God wherever we go, whatever the situation.
Father in Heaven,
I pray that as I convict myself to do the things you have called me to do, and be the man you called me to be, may you bless me in the things I do and may I experience you through a two way prayer Daily. Father I pray that you will cleanse me of my sins, for i have sinned against you. Lord i commit my life unto your hands, in Jesus name, Amen
Well had stop meeting today.. Taught an ultra short lesson on spiritual truths. It was a lesson meant for follow ups but I needed to turn it into something for Spiritually older people as confirmation was such.. Oh well.. I guess it all went smoothly.
Went walking around Plaza Singapura to kill time. Last stop was to trumpet praise, which i spent all my remaining money on a book named, "Dialogue with God".
I guess i really needed it in the sense that it could help me have perfect faith that God is existant and that im actually praying to someone. The book writes about how to open up the door to a two way prayer. I find a direct revelation more effective than just hearing it secondhand. Though i spent the rest of my money buying that book, i thought it was worth it because i could pass this down to the caregroup.
Okay my mum is nagging again >.<. I guess tahts what she live for anyway.
Lets end off with another prayer.
Father in Heaven,
As i live each day, may you prompt me out of sin, that i may be salt and light to the world. Lord I pray that you will speak to me directly that i might recieve a vision for my group. Lord i pray that cg08 will be be done. In Jesus name, Amen
The words pastor Jeff spoke, "Isn't it utter treason not to bring salvation to your family members?"
It Hit me right in the face and i broke out crying.
He also said, " My mum keeps every card i write for her"
This made me question myself, when was the last time i did something like that?
I walked out of nexus as someone who utterly hated his family, to someone who slowly develops compassion and forgiveness for whatever harm his family had done unto him.
I began to realize the importance of bringing salvation even to those who have hurt us deeply, and to show the love of God wherever we go, whatever the situation.
Father in Heaven,
I pray that as I convict myself to do the things you have called me to do, and be the man you called me to be, may you bless me in the things I do and may I experience you through a two way prayer Daily. Father I pray that you will cleanse me of my sins, for i have sinned against you. Lord i commit my life unto your hands, in Jesus name, Amen
Well had stop meeting today.. Taught an ultra short lesson on spiritual truths. It was a lesson meant for follow ups but I needed to turn it into something for Spiritually older people as confirmation was such.. Oh well.. I guess it all went smoothly.
Went walking around Plaza Singapura to kill time. Last stop was to trumpet praise, which i spent all my remaining money on a book named, "Dialogue with God".
I guess i really needed it in the sense that it could help me have perfect faith that God is existant and that im actually praying to someone. The book writes about how to open up the door to a two way prayer. I find a direct revelation more effective than just hearing it secondhand. Though i spent the rest of my money buying that book, i thought it was worth it because i could pass this down to the caregroup.
Okay my mum is nagging again >.<. I guess tahts what she live for anyway.
Lets end off with another prayer.
Father in Heaven,
As i live each day, may you prompt me out of sin, that i may be salt and light to the world. Lord I pray that you will speak to me directly that i might recieve a vision for my group. Lord i pray that cg08 will be be done. In Jesus name, Amen
11:11 PM; The Pianist'
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Sry guys didnt really update in a very long time yeah!
Lets begin with what happened today..
Miraculously, my Mum agreed to me going for church camp. This was how it went:
I was in a dilema wether if i should ask my mother if i was allowed for june camp this year. So I decided to trust God and i prayed. After which, i mustured my courage, swallowed my saliva and proceeded on my "Quest" to see light..
"Mum, is it possible if i go for this year's church camp? Ill be paying yea
"Why not? Ill pay for it. How much is it?"
*Stunned*
"Errm.. a $120? By this saturday.."
"Okay.. Such camps are good because you learn teamwork there. Go ahead!"
"Thanks!!!"
Yeah thats how it went.. God is really really amazing in the sense that what i expected to turn out sour became a blessing. Praise God!
5/5/2008
Went to get a floorball stick with dens. In the end, got myself a new blade and a new grip. ($48 + $25 = $73).. OMG... ouch.. Cuz we bought starbucks, we decided not to take the bus and walk to suntec instead.. Okay.. I checked the GPS now.. We walked/ran a total of 8km ++.. Feel kinda accomplished lol.. As motorists passed by the pavement of the highway and stared at us, we screamed at their faces, "STARE WHAT STARE?". Strangely, it felt damn great. Shouting my lungs out at them and running so freely. Okay im mad >.<
Got home and tried out the new stick man! It was difficult to assemble but in the end, i managed to do it..
It looks like..
Yup it has a pre hook specially made for zorro and guess what? After 2 days of practise, im finally able to do it considerably well! Yay!
As for the updates on Central B 1.. Nah there were'nt anything significant that happened.. Not much of a change in spiritual level or any sort. Well, im not the CL so yeah.. Few even bothers to listen to me.
Went for Clm yesterday.. Well we discussed about many things, including the times we were angry with God. Pondering over this issue, I haven't been really angry with God over not having any fruits over working so hard to evangelise and yet bear no fruits. To simply explain why, God first died for me and i dont have a reason to be angry with him. Secondly, he should be the one venting all his anger on me because i am a sinner and am a nobody compaired to God. Yet im exalted so high and i gained eternity and the ticket to heaven as a gift fromt he blood of Jesus. Thinking about my own group which hasn't been growing, Im feeling heavily burdened that CG 08 might not be completed.
My CG tree looks like this
Can you see the lack of leaders now?
Guys we need to pull ourselves together and do this together, you, me, everybody.
Father in heaven,
I pray that you will give a word to the people of Central B, may you touch their hearts and stir a great fiery passion in them to serve you. Lord i pray that they will discern what is best for them, and I pray you give them a vision. Father i commit all these people unto your hands. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
8:05 PM; The Pianist'
thePIANIST;
Shane from RP class w35a
Loves the piano
Hates rappers
ur hates here
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Someone
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Apologetics
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Sharmaine
Shepherd
Stephanie
Tiffany
Vivian
Yeshen
Apologetics
Brian
Caryn
Chermaine
Daphne
Desmond Mark
Hongji
Hsueh Ni
Ikekie
Kai Hwee
Michelle (Hope)
Sharmaine
Shepherd
Stephanie
Tiffany
Vivian
Yeshen
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