thePIANIST

Friday, May 23, 2008

Back to blog again about my boring and undesirable lifestyle =).
Right my dad just shouted the F word in front of my face because his computer is slow. He blames it on a 800mb game file which works perfectly fine on my own computer. Perhaps the lag is due to the excessive download of pornographic videos and pictures he ususally do. Oh well.. Sucks to be an old user of that computer since i get all the blame when his computer gets screwed up. Wait.. Why do i bother to blog about this? This is just one of the thousands of times my father conversed with me with a vulgarity. Why do i care that much? Well.. I dont know.. I just feel against vulgarities nowadays.. Right enough with that nonsense alr..
Had floorball today.. Reached early to play basketball though. Right it's damn tiring.. Scored less than 5 today.. Haha really sucky today!! I felt so lazy...
Oh and Jia Qi landed a swing on my hand which led to a injury. Now who says im not the injury king! Wahaha.. 8 on my left leg, 5 on my right, 4 on my right hand, none on my left hand. I feel kinda guilty that i kinda scolded Jeron for not playing properly today. The most un-tactful leader ever.. Bleah.. Well i shouted at him for letting in a goal, which a deeply regretted. He shouted back to ask me to become the keeper then and he just walked off. Let's just say, i screwed up..
I feel stupid being the leader. Cuz it just aint me. I come from a screwed up family background, I aint charismatic, yet im called by God? It just stresses me when I think of how I can be the playmaker of my group. Its hard to get everyone to quieten and listen to you and lead them to the right way when I dont have the charisma or spiritual stature. Im trying hard but yeah you guys know how hard it is without a spiritual buddy or a stable group growing in God. At least what i can do is keep track on how many times each core team member does their QT and all. And also teach them how to experience God and stuff. I guess thats what God has told me to do and what i have done. I still feel uncapable because i just feel so burdened for them. I feel like im in deep shit whenever i get into a conflict with them or when my core is in conflict with one another. I just find it very disturbing the fact that i gotta care for each and everyone of their lives beyond caregroup, service. Im utterly burdened also due to the fact that this year is O levels for me. Im afraid that if i get into a real shitty situation, how will my group look to me as a leader? Ok this is getting long.. What i wana say is, I'll be trying my best to do whatever i can for God and for myself. Okay let me end off with a prayer..
Father in heaven,
I call to you in the name of Jesus and demand from you wisdom you have promised if i keep your word. Lord I will love you with all my heart, do not let me stray from your commands. May i develop a heavy burden and sense of urgency for the things you have left me in charge with. Lord i pray also that you will strengthen me and mould me to become the kind of person you want me to be. Lord i pray all this in the name of Jesus, Amen

9:36 PM; The Pianist'

thePIANIST;

Shane from RP class w35a

Loves the piano

Hates rappers

ur hates here

the WISH:

Someone

theCHATTERBOX;

theEXITS;

Angela
Apologetics
Brian
Caryn
Chermaine
Daphne
Desmond Mark
Hongji
Hsueh Ni
Ikekie
Kai Hwee
Michelle (Hope)
Sharmaine
Shepherd
Stephanie
Tiffany
Vivian
Yeshen

thePAST;