thePIANIST

Sunday, June 29, 2008

To start off, just wana share something god spoke to me through. Simple words of an ordinary hair-dresser had taught me a valuable lesson.
On monday, i had my haircut. After the whole dreadful process, the barber said, "Now you can see better without all that stuff over your head right?"
It did'nt hit me that hard at first. These words rang over and over again like a bell in my head...
I realized it had been a lesson God is trying to impart to me.

To take that into the biblical context, my hair is like the areas of sin. You know... when your fringe covers your eye you cant see much without one eye? In the same way, sins hinder us from SEE-ING god, or experiencing God if you like.
The barber is like Jesus. You can tell him the areas you want to improve in and he will gladly cut the hair(sin). He can style it also, in any way you want him to.
God gave us a choice. We can give up our hair(sins) to God and allow him to remove them from your life, or we can let the sins grow into a deeper stage, hindering us from serving god even more. However, when we allow god to cut away these hair(sins), new hair grows. It is exchanged with Godly principals. In the same way, These principals grow and new challenges surface. When you allow God to remove these areas and exchange them for something better, we experience more of God and we have deeper insights than ever.
Lets give up our hair for God!!
Hope this retarded incident taught you something!!

It's been a tiring day today.. To be precise, saturday.
Reflected upon myself today, upon my walk with God. To be honnest, i think that i seriously do not deserve to lead CB1 at all. Looking upon the mistakes i made, they're just unintentionally dumb.
Right now I just wana do all i can, but doing that seems so difficult. I just don't know why im so dumb at times. I dont want to lead, but i feel it's not up to me. When God called, I just could'nt reject. Right now you people might find me really insensetive, doing really dumb things, that I know myself.
Don't look up to me, because you will just be disappointed.

Being a CL is so much more. It's not just about giving your whole life away and expecting something to work out. It's about giving up your life and also impacting others to do likewise. When i gave up my CCA, wu shu and allowance to serve god better, I never got fruits. They came once in a while but they left. I expected myself to be the "hero" and hopefully when i succeed people get influenced. I was so wrong. You are going to succeed only if you and your team works together.

I have not led the group well. I apologize for every single crap I've given every single one of you guys. I really seek your forgiveness, as well as your cooperation. Thank you all for still being there, even under lousy leadership. Im sorry to say, you guys gotta bear with me for a little while more. Hope you all understand..

Well thats enough from me. Cant say much more.
I got the urge to continue, but i just cant find the words. It's okay for now though.
(mum's nagging)

Let me end with a prayer
Father in Heaven,
Hear my cries, my cries of insatisfaction, frustration and stress. I'm tired of see-ing non-believers curse and swear at everything that dosen't seem to work for them. I'm tired of living in a world full of sin and unrepentant people. I feel heavily burdened for the world out there, who obviously needs to know your love. I feel heavily burdenend that I, am the only one who can do it. I know you created me with the potential to create change, to make an impact. And here i am, i call upon your name, i call upon the name of jesus and i ask today for your backing. You are my saviour king, the saviour of all agony. Lord help me to bring your name known to the ends of the earth. Help me to lead with your wisdom, your stature, the authority you have. Help me to become the kind of person you want me to be. Lord help me, guide me, show me the way. Take over, for my life is nothing but a tool. Use me to my fullest potential. You are the protagonist, not me. Use me oh God.. In jesus name, Amen

Okay my prayer was interrupted by my unreasonable parents calling me to go to sleep when there's no school tomorrow. Oh well... Till Next time guys..

1:22 AM; The Pianist'

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