thePIANIST

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Currently having mixed feelings.
Happy in a few ways, sad in many ways.
Happy that tomorrow is the last day of o levels, happy for others that for some of them today is the last, happy that tomorrow is class chalet, happy that i got a new phone, but sad that my Chemistry papers didnt really go smoothly today. I'm expecting to get like 20-25 out of 40 this time according to the answer sheet given by the teachers.
Had a quarrel with my mum just now. She saw my CLB paper 2.. >.<
She got so anxious over it... She began checking my answers written on the paper itself and began to pin-point out those who were wrong. She went like "This one wrong that one wrong, AIYO SO MANY WRONG"
I could'nt stand it till I started to talk back, "Cmon its just a clb paper. Even if i were to just pass or even fail, the worst thing that can happen is next time my boss would just talk to me in english. Whats the point in getting 90 for CLB and working so hard when 70 is already the point for merit? Just to show that I'm better than other people? Come on.. The paper is already over. Please stop doing that".
Her reply was like this, "What? I cant even check my own sons' paper? Its true 70 is the merit mark, but you told me CLB is so easy! Why cant you get 90 then? Why are you such a bad son?"

I refused to answer as i didnt see a point to.
I remembered a few weeks back, mum was nagging the heck out of me to study for my CLB paper. Can you believe it? STUDY FOR YOUR CLB PAPER. GOSH? I dont even study much for my english and shes asking me to study for CLB >.<. Its a total waste of time seriously. CLB is CLB for a reason. Its CLB cuz they want you to focus on the other subjects. Its CLB because they dont want you to worry about chinese.

If you ask me who gave me the most stress during the exam periods, I would say it's my mun. Her worrying so much makes me worry even more. And that totally spoils my mood to study at times. I want to tell her, that i'm 16 and im really grown up, but in her eyes, im always the little boy who cant take care of himself. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

The past month has been a month of spiritual dryness. I struggled very hard to do my job as a cl and as a believer. I struggled to do qt, struggled to pray regularly, and maintain the relationship i built with God. It was indeed a very tiring period for me.
Ministry very much depended on me. I realized that as I ceased to serve to my best, there were obvious defects eg. Conflicts, loss of direction. I realized that it was time to build someone able to take up the job or I would be leading forever. I hope that does'nt happen!

To the rest: CG08 is coming. Its' deadline draws as near as to 8 weeks. This is the last lap! CG08 can only be done within the next 8 weeks! What happens after, you decide. Will it be celebration, or grieve and regret?

9:35 PM; The Pianist'

thePIANIST;

Shane from RP class w35a

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