thePIANIST

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I will prove you wrong.

9:18 AM; The Pianist'

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Just what the hell is wrong with you guys?
I went to church for 2 years. I surely dont have a lack of preaching of the gospel. I know the fundamentals of christianity, been through it and im making my decision. If you guys are gonna take it so personally, thats fine with me because all that happens is that you wont get what you want but ill still go on doing what I want to do.
Enough of talking. Even if you don't feel that your a bother, you are already to me, a big pain in the ass.

Ill make one last reminder. Im doing this because i find no joy in serving. Im leaving so I can tell the difference between the normal life and the christian life. All you guys do is to criticise and criticise. Is that the best you can do as a friend? Hypocrites. Do you have the rights to judge another? I wont say anymore. Cuz screw those friendships i lost. I dont want any pity or any prayer. Dont even talk to me about it.

I DONT FRIKIN CARE EVEN IF YOU DESPISE ME. HEAR THAT? I DONT GIVE A SHIT SO STOP SCREWING AROUND WITH MY LIFE IF YOU RESPECT ME AS A HUMAN BEING.

1:18 AM; The Pianist'

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I will mourn your death, brother.

7:56 AM; The Pianist'

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Tomorrow's always a new start. I believe its time to put the past behind and look forward. Whoever isnt with me, just leave quietly. I dont wish to hear anymore of the past. What i've done, what you want me to do. I dont want anymore demands, no more tears, no more regrets. I do what I do not to be an asshole, but I do what I do because I hate what I was doing.
I know that by doing this im losing many friends, even close ones. I wont apologize or anything. Ill only say, that they were memmories worth keeping. Thanks. My previous life ends here. Who I am today, will be the Shane who never learned of Gods' love. The one who never knew what it was like to accept it. The one who is currently studying in Rp and just wants to live his life.
I've lost certain things, but i feel like I've gained even more.

8:49 AM; The Pianist'

Friday, May 15, 2009

Instead of telling me whats so bad about a life lived for myself, tell me. What's of worth?
I personally find living for myself nothing wrong. So, stop trying everyone. If you still want to be my friend, then let me take it the hard way if you call it. Dont even bother about trying to convince me out of my world. Take it as i never believed in God. You might find approaching me a much easier solution that way. I want to start this all over again. I dont wana hear all that nonsense about me doing the wrong things.
I do what I am doing because i feel thats the right thing to do. Im following my hearts' desires. Just in case you dont know, Im telling you now. I know the consequences of my actions. I know that by doing that, blah blah blah happens. Dont even tell me about it, cuz your just being long winded to me.
Dont try anything funny if you dont wish to risk your friendship with me.

7:53 AM; The Pianist'

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Prolonging my lifetime as a pawn on the chessboard? Erase my pain.
What is love?

1:03 AM; The Pianist'

Monday, May 11, 2009

If heeding my own way is a form of listening to what the devil says, then I am a devil.

8:02 AM; The Pianist'

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Starting to feel lonely? No.
Starting to feel desperate for replacement? No.
Regret? No.
All this time, 2 voices constantly echo-ed about in my mind. One is that of satan's, one that of God's. Refusing to listen to either, I only followed my heart desires. I did things without caring about how I was potraying the image of Christ(I consider myself a non-believer), I did some stupid things no believer in Hope would do. Do i regret any of them? Not really. I kinda enjoyed it as i felt it was freedom. I was no longer tied down by responsibilities, a name to live up to. Living for Christ was too hard? I'd say. I can never become like christ. I can try, but the process is too painful to bear. I became someone who lived for someone else. I was not myself. I acted in love as the bible said, but it ended up to be a bed of thorned roses I was lying on all along. The more I gave, the more tired i became, the more the "love" i sought.
After i left, i told myself, live for no-one else but myself. I knew i was too young to know what was love all about. I believe in Jesus, but loving him is hard. Really..
Living for myself isnt bad at all. Felt like the world and everything along with it was taken off my shoulders. Everything was at my disposal. Just one thing.. Love was pretty much absent.. Well thats something I dont think i need. For now that is... Let's see what happens.
Love? It's really a complicated thing. Never been into a relationship for 2 or 3 years now. (Counting that of Christ's). Relationships has been a terrible thing. After seeking 2 imperfect ones, i experienced the perfect love, which in the end, I did not know how to live up to. Being loved and not giving it back just troubles me. Jesus is just too forgiving.

Well at least now im not living in hell. I have a life and im living fine without caring about what the devil or the angel has to say. I am myself, and i like it.

1:41 PM; The Pianist'

Saturday, May 2, 2009

We didn't lose. We just wont admit it. It was a probability game, a one involving mindless shooting. We were unlucky. They weren't better.

Thanks for the playing experience team. Though we made mistakes, we were a perfect team. We proved that teamwork beats professionalism. As we trashed our way to the finals, we soon realized that it wasnt about the people not being good enough. It was not about our good strategy. It was just us, working as a team. We looked out for one another, we got all over them together, we die together, and we won together.
Survival mode was crap. There was no way we could garuntee 8 minutes.. It really depended on the dumb artificial inteligence. Dennis' lag for 3 seconds had cost him his life, and hongjis' lag for 2 seconds likewise.
We had so much time after our semi final round as we ended it early. We watched our opponents and saw how each of them were only good individually. We knew that if we had ended up playing VS mode, we would have won. Sadly, we ended up playing a probability game, which none of us ended up happy losing. Again, we didnt play for the money. We played to test how good we were.

3:05 PM; The Pianist'

thePIANIST;

Shane from RP class w35a

Loves the piano

Hates rappers

ur hates here

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