thePIANIST

Friday, June 26, 2009

Ok this is so lame.. Im blogging in a hospital, believe it or not. Omg la... I'm in Alexandra hospital quarantined like a pig lor. Sighs.. Pictures will explain everything.

THIS is called the.. I dont know.. Pressure meter? They come in and out of ma ward wrappin that over my hand.

This thing cant eve be a lifesaver.. Red button for nurse, blue ones are for e tv, yellow is for e lights.

They have the same exact TV i HAD at home! Reminiscence!
After all, im bored.

I WANT TO GET HOME TO EAT MY RAMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:46 PM; The Pianist'

Monday, June 22, 2009

Had a really bad fever, headache, sore throat and on top of those, muscle aches yesterday. Haven't recovered fully though..
I decided to take taxi home due to my bad condition yesterday. It just wasn't my day. The taxi driver was a complete asshole. He drove rounds and rounds just to earn himself better income. Asshole! There was I in his car, having a bad headache and obviously i didnt feel good. Seeing the cross he hung by his seat, i wondered to myself if that guy was a christian. I didnt ask though.. I was too sick to have done that. In the end, i paid $6 for such a short distance. Thanks Asshole.
Went home and fell on the bed immediately. I was so sick and tired, i felt like cursing and swearing.
I was down with fever, and my body temperature went as high as 39.2 yesterday.
Miraculously, it dropped to 36.7 earlier, which i hope will be maintained.
Thanks for the prayers!

11:23 PM; The Pianist'

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Who's dancing? Who's singing? Who's living the life that's worth living?
Who's running? Who's loving? Who's breaking the doors wide open?

Is this really the life worth living?

5:48 PM; The Pianist'

I would do all this to make you smile, but will the smile linger on that sulky face I see for a long time?
Ill make the shadows in you fade away, but will you appreciate what I've done?

Went out for svs today.. Trust me it was damn tiring. I forgot svs was at 7pm today so i rotted at long johns as i reached at 5+. Anw i went to Cathay to attempt to fix my watch. It didn't work.. I was referred to another place.
Service was cool. I had a urge to answer to that altar call, but no. I was not fully satisfied with the answer i got from God or from the sermon. Tell you guys some other time!
Played L4D till very late, so I came home just a little earlier, maybe half an hour ago. I made someone angry =(. Sorry for making you wait. I didn't know you did.

The walk home was dark and I was feeling a little cranky. The darkness was just... Intriguing.. Please, don't even try walking home alone near 4:30 am. It will scare the shit outta you.

When will I live normally again?

5:22 AM; The Pianist'

Friday, June 19, 2009

My mind is frozen at the reality i face.

An empty house is what i return to everyday. Nobody is home, and ill either sleep, exercise or play some music while relaxing or doing my RJ. Life is such a bore seriously. Really.. Who are my friends? You know, you can only know and acknowledge them as they go through life with you. Every single day. I mean it. Every single day. They don't wanna miss a thing, because they care about us.
I feel a little empty. I dont have such a friend. You know? Someone who understands me because my situation is pretty complex.
Yes i need some medicine. Shane is dying.

10:48 PM; The Pianist'

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Didnt go to school today.. Talked to someone all the way till like 6:15 AM today. LOL! Diddt go to sch in the end of course.
Ehhh but im going to sch tmr.. Though ill need to tahan that ARCHANA BABU again. She my team tmr ehh.. Walao.. Die le.. Science chui sia. My most hated facilitator and module. Siighh.. Why so bored!! Wah sian i promised someone to sleep by 12 today.. Shdnt have done that lor.. Walao. Now i better make full use of my time! LOL. I think im gonna change my blogskin =) its so boring.
BRB!

10:03 PM; The Pianist'

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

This is as far as it gets..

10:49 PM; The Pianist'

My head hurts.. who am i?

6:49 PM; The Pianist'

Reading through my old entries, trying to catch a glimpse of who i really am. Why do they sound so stranger to me? Have I lost myself again?
Who am I?
Can someone tell me?

1:10 AM; The Pianist'

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Second day.. Enterprising was a hell of a bitch.
Im in a terrible mood today. I'm just not showing everything. I have friends to throw all these burdens at, but I'll choose to just throw them here.
Most of you probably know me as a guy who seems to be a tough one. I go to school, acting as if i was an extrovert who wanted to get to know everyone in class. You guys know all the crap i say. What retarded jokes i crack. Trust me. I didn't know that was me. I don't even know if im acting. I dont even know who i am now. Who is the Shane you know? What did he look like? What made him happy? What makes him sad? I feel like I have a sudden loss of memmory, and im desperately trying to find an opening to the shithole im stuck in. I hate to vent all this on anyone but i feel like i have no choice but to do everything here. It doesnt feel like an emotional problem. I dont think im mentally tired. I think too much? Maybe?
Who am I? What am I living for? What is my purpose in life? What truely satisfies me?
God is that you? Screwing me up? I need some answers..

Life has been a bore. I realized i slowly and gradually fell away from my close friends. Did i have many to begin with? I feel lonely, vexed, tired. I need a shoulder i can lean on. It feels like hell. Getting into a relationship now would only drag the person down together into the shithole i am in. So thats definately not the solution. Besides, don't you girls think im way too immatured for anyone? Ah that was random.

9:05 PM; The Pianist'

Sch started today!
I thought that was the end of my holiday boredom. I was so wrong. This instead was the mark of the start of a living hell. I need to work harder.. I want to do better in class for better grades. I need those grades. That's why ill do whatever i can do get it.
Its too troublesome though.. Especially when it comes to concentration. You guys know me well. I have a very short attention span on the things I have no interest of. Especially academic stuff. Luckily most of the RP modules are not very academic. Except for Maths and Science of course, but i feel that they are so !@#$-ing easy.

Rested the whole day today at home after school. I had a really bad stomach ache earlier in the afternoon. Hey sch ended early too! Maths module today as usual. Ended at like 12? LOL super early right. Went to eat after that then we headed home together. Went to the jurong east side with PeiYi as usual, got pang seh by Andy lols. Anyway, im like so bored now. Everybody asleep ><.

Pray that tomorrow will be a better day!

Just smt random:

My top 5 most favourite NBA players:
#1 Kobe Bryant
#2 Vince Carter
#3 Allen Iverson
#4 Jason Kidd
#5 Steve Nash

12:26 AM; The Pianist'

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Nice song =)
Lose yourself -Eminem
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Yeah,
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no
He won't have it , he knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stagnant that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rhapsody
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

x2
(You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo)

The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is boring, but superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cause here goes the cold water
His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partner', but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da
x2
(You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo)

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this motherfucking roof off like two dogs caged
I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhyming and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the
Fact that I can't get by with my nine to
Five and I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cause man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Trying to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screaming on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only motherfucking option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cause maybe the only opportunity that I got

x2
(You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo)

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

Just looking around youtube when i chanced upon this song. I think im addicted to it =).

Went for service yesterday.. There was a crazy welcome party for joeanne ang. We were drenched in flour ><. Luckily, i hid behind a pole. Service felt empty. I dont know. The notes i copied didnt mean anything to me like they used to.
Im sinning in front of Christ and i know it. I know hes watching me. I also know he doesnt count my sins. Im not using this as an excuse, but i dont wana make my life difficult because I wana act like somebody else im not.

Haha enough le ><
Anw, holidays are finally over after today. Gosh im damn bored right now.. At least Sch doesn't make life suck. Cya w35a peeps tmr!

8:31 PM; The Pianist'

Saturday, June 13, 2009

LAKERS TOOK GAME 4!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kobe is now 1 win away from his 4th ring. GO LAKERS!

2:13 AM; The Pianist'

Friday, June 12, 2009

Wah midnight already.. and some people still aren't asleep. Pfft!

Did nothing much yesterday (Thursday) . Just some shopping at NTUC with my parents. Enjoyed the time spent tgt (ps. free stuff too =) ).
Went out with Sharmaine on Wednesday. Walao waited for her for like ages la >.<>.<. Ok guys if you ever go out with Sharmaine, please be at least 1 hour late because you will be on time =). Went to eat tgt at Carls' jr, and talked about our lives as we ate. Haha she has a boyfriend for 8 months le >.<. I didnt even know la. Wah lao. Some kind of friend she it right? !!! GRR. Anyway, we slacked around vivo after that, just walked around and got dragged into some girly shops in the process. TRUST ME IT WAS MY FRIST TIME IN FOREVER 21 AND THOSE WEIRDO SHOPS. Gosh.. People gave me that sick look. They must have thought i was out of my mind! Anyway, I was >.<. But well! Get used to it =). Went to the arcade and pet safari! OH gosh, those pets are really cute but that place smells filthy somehow. Oh and btw, sharmaine really, really, really knows how to throw away her money. Walk a few steps only buy something le ><. OH YAH. Sharmaine still owes me ice cream >.< DAMN!!! Forget to kope from her LOL.
Haiz anyway, it was a fun time i spent with her on thursday.

ARGH. Lakers are 2-1 against the magic. GO lakers! Just 2 more games!!!!!!

1:29 AM; The Pianist'

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

7:28 PM; The Pianist'

Sunday, June 7, 2009

After all I've gone through? You ask me why?

Because i hated who i was.
It was definitely just a sweet dream, the man i became, and who I am now, is a totally different thing. Don't remind me of the past. I want to forget.

Can someone please remove this pain?

7:41 PM; The Pianist'

Slept really late yesterday.. Talked to PeiYi till like 3am about some of my past.
Anyway, life hasnt been too bad lately. Just a little ups and downs here and there. Just need to find myself something that can occupy me during the holidays. This seirously feels like the aftermath of o-levels. Its soo boring luh!
Just went for basketball and tired myself out. Next week is another week of mystery. What awaits me? I should, find some work to do cuz im rotting at home already la! Wont someone please, ask me out or smt?!
Gah i guess ill just stick to playing the piano for time to pass.

7:32 PM; The Pianist'

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Lakers:
#24 Kobe Bryant

Not just another player. This guy inspires me a whole lot. His "passion" that drives him to go on scoring runs. Who cares if hes better than jordan or not! There isnt another guy in the game right now I see that wants the championship as badly as kobe. The crowd can go BOO and he'd always continue to persevere and win the game for his team.
So GO KOBE and the LAKERS! 2009 PLAYOFF CHAMPIONS!

10:07 PM; The Pianist'

Friday, June 5, 2009

Life has indeed been fun-filled. Living the church-less life.. Some things bother me,but I shouldn't be saying it here.
What is God to me? Some ask. What is all that friendship to me? So much for serving so hard the past few years, they say. I announce that it has been tiring, too tiring I feel. It's as if im working a job. Why serve? I always ask. Just because God loves you, you wana do he same, you can only serve, bla bla, don't wana see others burn in hell, whatever. I think im starting to hate that truth. The truth of God giving as a second chance to be his pawn in his game. Either we be a part of the chess piece, or be eliminated and suffer for eternity, forgotten in the fiery chasm of hell. I am pretty selfish aint i?
You all think I dont give a damn about my friends or those people. Yes alright fair enough. How much of myself should i sacrifice to prevent that kind of hellish scenario then? Im already bleeding from my experience in serving. I felt no joy, just pain. I think its pretty impossible to serve when I cant even be motivated to love something I dont. Really, stop all this "Burn in hell" shit. It's not that i don't care. I just dont want it to become the only reason I serve. I hate to be a pawn, really..
More of you and less of me? I think thats rubbish.

11:05 PM; The Pianist'

Wednesday, June 3, 2009